10 Types of People You’ll Find in Every Social Media Comment Section
By Candy Elliott ·
Spend enough time posting on social media and you begin to realize that comment sections are basically small towns. The same people live in all of them.
It doesn't matter whether you posted a recipe, a vacation photo, a funny video, a picture of your dog, or the announcement of your firstborn child. Within minutes, everyone reports for duty.
Some are lovely. Some are hilarious. Some appear to have misunderstood the assignment completely.
And some have been waiting their entire lives for you to post a picture of a sandwich so they can finally tell you what you're doing wrong.
Here are the people you will eventually meet in every social media comment section.
1. The Unsolicited Advisor
You posted a picture of your new haircut. You did not ask for feedback. This person has feedback.
You bought a couch? They would have gone with a sectional. You went to Italy? September is actually a much better time to go. You're tired? Magnesium. Your dog is adorable? Have you considered changing his food?
You could post, “Beautiful sunset tonight,” and somehow leave with a new skincare routine and the name of their chiropractor.
There was no question mark anywhere in your post.
They came prepared anyway.
2. The Post Hijacker
Your post is not your post anymore.
You posted, “Happy anniversary to my husband!” Three comments later, you're reading about someone else's divorce.
You shared a picture of the lasagna you made. “My mother made lasagna every Christmas before she died.”
Well.
We have taken a turn.
You posted that your kid graduated. Their kid graduated too. In 2009. Here are 14 photos.
The Post Hijacker doesn't comment on your story. They use your story as a conference room they've reserved for their own presentation.
You provided the venue.
They brought a PowerPoint.
3. The Person Who Didn't Read the Post
These people are fascinating because they are willing to participate despite having absolutely no information.
Your caption says:
“Before everyone asks, the dress is from Zara.”
First comment:
“Where is your dress from?”
You post a recipe and write, “Recipe is linked in my bio.”
“Recipe?”
You announce, “We're moving to Chicago!”
“Where are you moving?”
At this point, you're not responding to comments. You're administering an open-book exam where everyone has chosen not to open the book.
4. The Person Who Has to Make It Political
You posted a puppy.
Somehow we're discussing Congress.
Nobody knows how we got here.
You shared a picture of a tomato from your garden and four comments later someone is explaining what's wrong with America.
Sir.
It's a tomato.
There are approximately nine billion other places on the internet where this argument is already happening. We were just admiring produce.
5. The One-Upper
You ran your first 5K.
They ran a marathon.
You went to Hawaii.
They've been six times.
Your kid got into college.
Their daughter graduated summa cum laude from Harvard while apparently also curing something.
You haven't even finished being happy yet and they've already submitted supporting documentation explaining why their thing was harder, farther, more expensive, more impressive, or happened first.
You could post that you were struck by lightning and they'd comment, “I've actually been hit twice.”
Congratulations?
6. The Person Who Answers Questions Nobody Asked Them
Someone comments:
“Candy, where did you get those shoes?”
Before you can respond, Linda arrives.
“I think Nordstrom has something similar.”
Thank you, Linda.
Nobody summoned you, but your commitment to customer service is remarkable.
Sometimes Linda is wrong. This does not slow Linda down.
You got them in Italy six years ago.
Linda has already provided the link.
7. The Person Who Tags Someone and Leaves
“@Susan”
That's it.
No explanation.
No punctuation.
Susan has been summoned.
Why?
We don't know.
Does Susan need to see the post? Is this an inside joke? Are we organizing an intervention? Does Susan own the same pants?
Only Susan knows.
And sometimes Susan replies:
“😂😂😂”
Wonderful.
I'm glad we could all be here for this.
8. The Person Who Announces They Don't Care
This person is one of my favorites.
“Who cares?”
You.
Apparently.
You cared enough to stop scrolling, open the comments, type “Who cares?”, and hit Post.
There were so many opportunities to continue living your life.
You rejected every one of them.
It's like walking into a restaurant you don't like, finding the manager, and announcing that you have no interest in eating there.
Okay.
Thank you for coming in.
9. The Completely Unrelated Oversharer
This person is different from the Post Hijacker because they're not trying to make your story about themselves.
They simply have information they need released immediately.
You post:
“Does anyone know a good dry cleaner?”
They respond:
“I can't use dry cleaning chemicals anymore because after my hysterectomy my body became extremely sensitive.”
There are moments on social media when the only appropriate response is to put the phone down and stare into the middle distance.
This is one of them.
10. The Comment Section Warrior
Your post was innocent.
You posted a picture of pancakes.
Two strangers have now been arguing underneath it for four hours.
You don't know either of them.
One has called the other “everything wrong with society.”
The other has requested sources.
Someone's husband has been mentioned.
You keep getting notifications because technically this is happening at your house.
At some point you want to enter the thread and say, “Excuse me, I live here.”
Instead, you watch two adults destroy each other underneath a stack of blueberry pancakes.
The internet is incredible.
And Then There Are the Nice People
Thankfully, most comment sections also contain the people who make posting worth it.
The person who always leaves something funny. The person who gives a genuine compliment. The longtime follower you recognize immediately. The person who answers another commenter kindly. The person who actually read what you wrote before responding, which at this point deserves some kind of certificate.
And if you create content regularly, responding to those people is part of building a real community. It shows people you’re paying attention and gives them a reason to keep joining the conversation.
The problem is that when a post gets 50, 100, or 500 comments, responding to everyone without becoming a human copy-and-paste machine becomes its own job.
There are only so many times you can write:
“Thank you!!”
“Aww thank you!”
“Thank you so much!”
“❤️❤️❤️”
before you begin to wonder if you've been replaced by a very polite bot.
That's one of the reasons having different ways to reply can actually be useful.
BiteDraft can take a comment and give you different responses using different tones and personalities. And if you're trying to be funny, try more than one. One might be fine. The next might be ridiculous. Another might give you something completely unexpected.
Because social media already has enough people posting the exact same thing over and over.
And Linda is busy answering questions that weren't directed at her.
0 Comments
No comments yet.
Leave a comment